


Travelled All These Miles Just To Get Back Home

by WhyArentMyFriendsLikeMe



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Divorce, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I don't know what else to tag, I guess???, Jamia and Lindsey are amazing, Light Angst, Lovers to Friends, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Repressed Feelings, Right Decisions, Understanding, Very Slight/Implied Internalized Homophobia, Wrong Decisions, close friends, coming to terms with feelings, for everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 00:05:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyArentMyFriendsLikeMe/pseuds/WhyArentMyFriendsLikeMe
Summary: Gerard was happy. He was so happy with his wife and daughter, until this one thing breaks it all apart, and all feelings come crashing down over his head. Did he make the wrong decision?Frank was so happy. He had an amazing wife and two wonderful daughters. And then he fucked it all up. This one thing, and it all came crashing down.





	Travelled All These Miles Just To Get Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo....  
> I am not entirely happy with this... If I'd written it now it would've ended very differently, but I'm not going to re-write it. I spent so much time on this, and I am happy with the outcome (mostly), I just don't entirely agree with all of the decisions I made while writing this.
> 
> But!! I really hope at least a few of you will enjoy it!! And if you do, please tell me, I need that sweet validation ;)

Frank woke up next to Jamia. It was a Saturday morning, and there was hushed talking in the background. He slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes.

 

“No, Cherry! Give it back!” 

 

“Schhh! You’re gonna wake up daddy!” was the reply.

 

Frank smiled tiredly and sat up. He pulled a hoodie over his head and walked into the kitchen.

 

“Hey, ladies,” he said, smiling. “What’re you doing?”

 

He bent down to kiss his girls’ cheeks.

 

“We’re making breakfast,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

 

“Yeah?” Frank said, chuckling and looking around the empty kitchen. “What are you making?”

 

“We were trying to make pancakes, but Cherry stole the whisk!” Lily explained, glaring at her sister.

 

Cherry looked down. “I just thought that we should wait for you,” she said, shyly glancing up at Frank.

 

Frank smiled at them both. “No need to fight. It was a good choice to wait for me, I don’t want the two of you using the stove, anyway,” Frank said and stood up. “And now we can surprise mom.”

 

“I thought we could make them in the microwave…” Lily said quietly.

 

Frank giggled. “I’m not actually sure that’s possible, honey.”

 

Cherry frowned and looked from her sister to Frank. “Why?” she asked. “We make everything else in the microwave!”

 

Now it was Frank’s turn to frown.  _ Everything else? Maybe it’s time to change that… _ “Well… Pancakes are different!”

 

They ended up surprising Jamia with pancakes and coffee and ate in their bed. The morning was very close to perfect.

 

\---

 

Gerard was up early today. He was sketching for a comic he was working on when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jerked awake from his bubble.

 

“Jesus, Linds!” he said, pulling a hand through his hair. “You scared the hell out of me!”

 

Lindsey fondly rolled her eyes at her husband. “I’m sorry,” she said and kissed his cheek. “Have you eaten yet?”

 

Gerard looked around for a plate and coffee-mug. He didn’t find any. “I don’t know…”

 

“Are you hungry? Bandit is making pancakes.”

 

“Sure, I’ll be out in a few minutes,” he said and kissed her softly.

 

“You better,” she said playfully and walked out the door.

 

Gerard left his drawings 30 minutes later when Bandit dragged him away to the kitchen, scolding him for not joining them for breakfast.

 

Lindsey rolled her eyes when their daughter dragged Gerard by the hand to the table. “You said you were going to come!” she defended when Gerard raised an eyebrow at her.

 

Gee smiled sheepishly. “I… got lost,” he offered.

 

“Well, you better eat now. We’re going to the Toros’ later,” Lindsey reminded and sat down at the table.

 

“Right!”

 

\---

 

Gerard knocked on the door, Bandit’s hand in his, Lindsey standing slightly behind them.

 

“Is Cherry and Lily going to be there?” Bandit asked, tugging on her father’s sleeve.

 

Gerard knocked again before turning to his daughter. “Let’s hope so,” he said. “I know Frank’s coming, so they’re probably going to be there.”

 

Bandit nodded, impatiently looking around.

 

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Gee, just open the door, I know you’ve got a key.”

 

“It’s impolite!” he objected.

 

Lindsey laughed at him and kissed his cheek. “He’s one of your best friends, he won’t mind.”

 

Gee fished the key out of his pocket at the same time as Bandit pulled on the door-knob. The door opened and the three of them stared dumbly at it.

 

“It was open,” Bandit stated.

 

The three of them walked inside, and were met with an empty house. “They’re probably in the back, come on,” Gerard urged.

 

They walked through the house and out the back door. The terrace was full of the people they knew. Frank, Jamia, Cherry and Lily, Ray and Christa, Mikey and Alicia.

 

“Bandit!” Cherry and Lily yelled when they saw their friend in the doorway.

 

Everyone else turned their heads.

 

“Gee, Linds!” Ray greeted and stood up from his chair. “Welcome!”

 

They sat down at the table, next to Jamia and Frank. Frank gave Gerard a glass of Diet Coke, which he thanked him for. 

 

“So,” Frank started. “What took you so long? Weren’t you supposed to be here like…half an hour ago?”

 

Gerard shrugged. “We just got a bit late.”

 

Frank shrugged back, giving his friend a raised eyebrow. Gerard stuck his tongue out at him. Frank giggled.

 

\---

 

The evening went on. The kids played in the Toros’ living room while the grown-ups talked out on the terrace.

 

They were interrupted later by Jamia, excusing herself.

 

“Sorry you all, but I think we need to get going, Frank,” she said apologetically. “It’s getting late and the twins need to sleep.”

 

Frank looked disappointed. “Oh, right,” he said flatly. “What time is it?”

 

Lindsey took her phone out to check then time. “Shit!” she exclaimed. “Gee, it’s almost half past ten!”

 

“Oh.”

 

Lindsey and Jamia exchanged a look. “Or we could take the kids home and you boys can stay a while longer, yeah?”

 

“Are you sure?” Frank asked, frowning. “I can come, it’s not a problem.”

 

Gee looked at his wife with the same question upon his face.

 

“Don’t worry,” Lindsey said with a smirk and rolled her eyes. “We insist.”

 

“Okay, if you say so,” Gerard answered, still sounding a bit unsure.

 

Ray and Christa shrugged. “It was nice to see you two!” Christa said, giving each of them a tight hug. “We have to see each other more often, it’s always the boys meeting up…”

 

Jamia smiled. “Yeah, I copy that! We need a girls’ night!”

 

Lindsey laughed and walked toward the living room, starting to plan for their night.

 

Gee and Frank shrugged at each other, following them to the door.

 

“Bandit!” Lindsey called. “Time to go home!”

 

Bandit ran up to the door with Lily and Cherry, pouting. “We don’t want to go home.”

 

Frank sighs. “I know you don’t,” he said and sat down to face the girls. “But it’s really late. And besides, if you go to bed now, you have enough energy to see each other tomorrow!”

 

Bandit’s eyes lit up. “Daddy, can I play with Lily and Cherry tomorrow?” she asked, looking hopeful.

 

Gerard looked to Lindsey who shrugged and smiled. “Yes, of course, baby,” he answered. “But only if you promise to go to bed now.”

 

All three girls nodded and were ready to leave in seconds.

 

“Gee and I are going to stay a while longer, so I’m saying goodnight now,” Frank said and kissed his girls on their foreheads.

 

“Why do you get to stay?” Cherry pouted.

 

“Because I’m older,” Frank explained and hugged her. “See you tomorrow.”

 

Gerard said his goodbye’s too, kissing Bandit’s cheek. He stood up and waved. “Bye.”

 

“What about me?” Lindsey pouted with a glint in her eyes.

 

Gerard laughed awkwardly, his eyes quickly turning to Frank before looking away again. “Of course,” he said, kissing her lips. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable kissing his wife. She was his  _ wife _ after all. But it made him uncomfortable when Frank was there.

 

Jamia rolled her eyes at Frank, who also hesitated, stealing a glance at Gerard.

 

Before leaving the Toros’ house Lindsey turned around. “Alicia, don’t you dare forget to call me about that date, we want you to be there!”

 

Alicia laughed and responded, “I won’t, I don’t have a deathwish!”

 

With that the two ladies and their kids left the household.

 

Everyone returned to the terrace, the air still warm even though it was quite late. Gerard and Frank sat down on a couch, relaxing.

 

This felt more like the old days, even if Christa and Alicia were there, the days when there was only the five of them.

 

Sometimes Frank missed those days. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his wife and his kids, and he didn’t regret anything about them, but life was simpler before. He sighed. He felt bad for thinking like this…

 

“Are you okay, Frankie?” Gee asked quietly, poking his side. “You kinda zoned out.”

 

Frank rested his head on Gee’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’m good… Just thinking about the old days.”

 

Gerard smiled. “Yeah. Good times.”

 

\---

 

_ It started on stage, during a show. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. They were just as surprised as everybody else. The audience went crazy. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome. It was a kiss. Heated. Unplanned. _

 

_ When they went off-stage the both of them were somewhat confused, but happy. _

 

_ “ _ _ What the hell was that?” Ray asked, laughing. _

 

_ Mikey turned around to face his brother and Frank. _

 

_ Gerard shrugged. “It just happened.” _

 

_ Frank giggled. _

 

_ Mikey watched them with a calculating look before shrugging. They all decided to leave it. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ That time wasn’t the last, though. It happened on practically every show, more or less...intense. It became a thing. Frerard. No one in the band really minded. It wasn’t their business per say, and as long as it didn’t interrupt with the playing they couldn’t care less. _

 

_ But the thing was, it wasn’t just “stage gay” any more. Not for them. It had become more than that. Maybe it was more than that from the beginning, it started somehow, right? And now it had evolved into something else, something not just on-stage. It was the two of them stealing kisses between shows, when they were alone, before going to bed… None of them really knew the boundaries of their relationship. _

 

\---

 

They spent the rest of the evening close together on the couch, sharing a blanket when the air got chilly. No one commented on their close-ness, knowing their special relationship.

 

Eventually though, it was time to leave. Frank yawned, his eyelids drooping closed. 

 

“Has he fallen asleep again?” Ray asked, laughing.

 

Gerard looked down on his shoulder, where Frank’s head rested, and smiled fondly. “Yeah,” he said, listening to Frank’s deep breathing. “He can never stay awake, can he?”

 

Mikey decided to drive the two of them home on his and Alicia’s way back to their apartment. Gerard carried Frank bridal-style to the car and buckled him in. He couldn’t help but giggle. “He’s such a baby, isn’t he?”

 

Mikey rolled his eyes at his sleeping friend. “We’ll let the sleeping thing off first,” he announced.

 

“Okay,” Gee agreed. “I’ve got keys to his house, so no need to wake up Jamia and the kids.”

 

Mikey nodded and pulled out of the driveway.

 

It didn’t take long until they parked outside Frank’s house. He was still asleep, leaning his head against the window. Gerard got out of the car and opened Frank’s door slowly, catching him before he fell out.

 

He then proceeded to pick him up and carry him to the house. He pulled the key out and unlocked the door. He slowly walked inside, careful not to make any sounds.

 

It was very dark and he felt uncomfortable walking into their bedroom, knowing that Jamia was probably sleeping there.

 

_ What the hell am I supposed to do now? _ he thought, not having thought about this part of the plan before. Luckily his train of thought was interrupted by a sleepy voice.

 

“Frank?” the voice, Jamia, said and walked into the living room, where Gerard stood.

 

She fumbled with the lightswitch before turning the lights on. She yelped.

 

“It’s just me!” Gerard whisper-shouted.

 

“Gerard?” Jamia asked, confused. “What are you doing here? Where’s Fr…”

 

“Yeah, he fell asleep,” Gee said awkwardly. “Where do you want him?”

 

Jamia shook her head, still half-asleep. “Uh. You can put him on the bed.”

 

“O-Okay,” Gerard said and followed Jamia into their bedroom. She gestured to their bed, and Gerard gently put Frank down. He fumbled with his shoes for a moment before pulling them off. He also took Frank’s socks off, he knew how he hated having too warm feet.

 

“I’m sorry, Jamia,” Gee said when he was done. “I just didn’t want to wake him up.”

 

She waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” She turned to the door and said, “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.”

 

Gerard nodded, feeling awkward, not knowing if he should go or wait until Jamia came back. 

 

He decided to wait for her.

 

While waiting he tucked Frank in, burying him under the covers and pushing his hair out of his eyes. He pulled his hand away from his friend’s forehead but Frank took a hold of his wrist.

 

Gee squeaked. “You awake?” he asked, hushed.

 

Frank giggled. “I woke up in the car,” he answered.

 

Gerards’ eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say so?!”

 

“I wanted you to carry me,” he answered, smirking. “You’re so sweet when I’m asleep.”

 

Gerard blushed. “Frankie,” he sighed, smiling.

 

Frank giggled again, sounding sleepy. “Come on, kiss my forehead and get out of here,” he mumbled, burying himself deeper under the covers, looking like an adorable burrito. “They’re probably wondering if you died or somethin’.”

 

“Shit.” Gerard said. He’d been in here for like, twenty minutes. He bent down kissing Frank’s forehead while whispering, “You sneaky motherfucker,” and went out of the bedroom. He met Jamia on the way to the door. She smiled and mouthed a “thank you” and he just nodded in response.

 

\---

 

_ Gerard walked out of the tour bus and stretched. He fished a cigarette out of his pocket and lighted it. He heard the door open and looked to the side, seeing Mikey stepping out. _

 

_ “ _ _ Hey, Mikes,” he said. _

 

_ “ _ _ Gee,” Mikey said. “Can I talk to you?” _

 

_ Gerard frowned.  _ What has happened? _ he thought. “Yeah, of course, Mikey.” _

 

_ Mikey took a place beside Gerard, he too leaning against the bus. “I’m just… Maybe it’s none of my business, but I care about you.  _ Both  _ of you, and I want to know what’s going on.” he demanded. _

 

_ Gerard sighed, looking away before taking a last drag of his cigarette and letting it fall to the ground, putting it out with his foot. “I...” he started. He sighed again before continuing. “I don’t know, Mikey… I honestly have no fucking idea.” _

 

_ Mikey raised an eyebrow at him, but Gerard continued. _

 

_ “ _ _ It’s just… We kiss. A lot,” Gerard said and dragged one hand through his hair. “I’m just confused. I don’t know what he feels.  _ If  _ he feels… I just… I’m not sure. I’m not sure yet.” _

 

_ Mikey could see that his brother was confused, and he wouldn’t push him. He needed some time to think on his own. Mikey got that, so he just nodded. “You can talk to me, you know,” he said. _

 

_ “ _ _ Yeah, I know, Mikey.” _

 

_ “ _ _ Good.” With that, Mikey walked inside again. He decided to talk to Frank as well. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Frank was laying on his bunk, listening to some music, when Mikey suddenly showed up. _

 

_ “ _ _ Frank,” Mikey said. _

 

_ Frank sat up, taking his ear-plugs out. “Hey, Mikeyway,” he said with a grin. _

 

_ Mikey looked back at him, smiling without moving a muscle the way he does, and sat down beside his friend. “So,” he started. “You and Gerard, huh?” _

 

_ Frank tensed and felt his cheeks heat up. _

 

_ “ _ _ I was just wondering what you feel about him,” Mikey said with a shrug. “He’s my brother. And you’re my best friend. And I just want to know what’s going on.” _

 

_ Frank shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly.” He sighed. “Like… We kiss and stuff...” Mikey raised an eyebrow at ‘and stuff’, but didn’t interrupt. “But I don’t know what we really feel about it...” Frank said. He was lying. At least about him. He knew exactly what he felt, but he didn’t want to tell Mikey just yet. He hadn’t even told Gerard yet. But he knew. He was definitely having a crush on him. Maybe more than a crush. Maybe he l…  _ Hell no, Frank. Don’t even go there! He’s your best friend’s older brother! _ Frank flushed. _

 

_ Mikey knew that Frank wasn’t telling him everything, but let it pass. It wasn’t really his business. _

 

\---

 

“Dude, what took you so long?” Mikey asked when Gerard finally opened the car-door. “We thought Jamia killed you or something.”

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. Mikey just rolled his eyes and drove him home.

 

\---

 

The next day Frank woke up feeling unusually cozy. He snuggled deeper down under the covers and turned around onto his stomach. The bed was empty beside him and he looked at the watch on the nightstand. 10.17. 

 

He groaned. He knew he had to get up, but the bed was just so  _ warm _ and  _ cozy _ .

 

“Frank?” Jamia asked from the doorway. “You awake?”

 

“Hngf,” was his answer.

 

Jamia rolled her eyes. “Come on, get up,” she said, not moving from the door. “We’re going to the Ways’ in an hour.”

 

Frank perked up. “What?”

 

“Were you high last night, or what?” Jamia asked jokingly.

 

Frank sat up. “Of course not!” he said, rather aggressively. 

 

Jamia put her hands up in defense. “Sorry!”

 

Frank just shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said with a sigh. “Just… You know I wouldn’t do that. Not anymore.”

 

“Yeah, I know, honey. I’m sorry,” she said and sat down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. “That was insensitive of me.”

 

Frank just nodded. “But seriously, why are we going to the Ways’?”

 

Jamia smiled at him and shook her head. “Lily and Cherry are going to play with Bandit!”

 

“Yeah, right. But why am I coming? Can’t we just drop them off?” he whined, already missing his bed.

 

“Well, we are,” Jamia said matter-of-factly. “But Lindsey invited us for coffee first.”

 

“Ah.”

 

\---

 

An hour later the four of them sat in the car, ready to go. Frank was a bit more awake now, but it was Sunday, and he was allowed to be tired, so he sat in the passenger seat with closed eyes, on the verge of unconsciousness.

 

“Why is dad sleeping?” Cherry asked, frowning. “Didn’t he sleep last night?”

 

“‘m not asleep,” Frank mumbled, causing his girls to laugh at him. “I’m not!”

 

“Yes you are!” Lily giggled. “It’s illegal to lie!”

 

Jamia chuckled at her girls. “It’s not  _ illegal _ , just very bad.“

 

“Whatever,” she said and pouted.

 

Frank laughed. “Are you excited?” he asked instead, changing the topic.

 

Cherry immediately perked up. “Yes yes yes!”

 

“That’s good! What about you, Lily?” Frank wondered. “I know you like Bandit.”

 

Lily finally giggled. “Yup!”

 

Jamia just rolled her eyes fondly.

 

\---

 

Gerard woke up late. Lindsey woke him up at 11, saying that the Ieros were coming over in a bit.

 

“What?” Gerard asked. “When?”

 

Lindsey chuckled. “In half an hour. They’re dropping Cherry and Lily off, but I invited them for coffee.”

 

Gerard sighed. He didn’t feel like getting up. Not now. He was tired. “Ugh.”

 

Lindsey laughed at him. “Get up, you sleepyhead. Unless you want them to see you in bed when they arrive.” Gerard groaned again. “And take a shower,” Lindsey added while she walked towards the kitchen.

 

Gerard decided it was for the best to get up before they arrived.

 

While he was getting ready he thought about last night. It had been a lot of fun, all of them getting together. They didn’t do that as often as they should. It’s usually only the boys. But of course that wasn’t bad either. That was almost even better, not as “formal” if you could even call it that. They knew each other so well, they didn’t have to think about anything. Just messing around.

 

And then there was this sneaky bastard called Frank. Pretending to be asleep so he wouldn’t have to walk to his own house. 

 

Gerard shook his head, smiling fondly. He missed kissing Frank like that. He used to do that before going to bed while on tour. He didn’t anymore though. Not after Lindsey. Not after Jamia.

 

\---

 

Frank got out of the car, yawning. It wasn’t a long ride. Only twenty minutes, but it felt like a lot more.

 

He took his girls’ hands and walked up to the door, ringing the doorbell. Jamia walking behind them.

 

Lindsey opened the door. “Hey, Frank, Jamia!” she said. “Hi, Cherry. Hi, Lily.”

 

“Hi, Mrs Way!” they said. “Where’s Bandit?”

 

“She’s in the living room.”

 

The girls ran into the living room to sit down next to Bandit on the floor.

 

“I made coffee,” Lindsay said. “Gerard’s in the kitchen.”

 

They all walk into the kitchen to find Gerard hurriedly shuffling cereal into his mouth. He froze when he saw them walk inside, like a deer in the headlights.

 

Frank doubled over laughing at him, Jamia looking amused and Lindsey looking mildly disappointed. 

 

“Dude, what the fuck,” Frank said, wheezing at his friend. “You look ridiculous!”

 

Gerard slowly swallows his mouthful. “I- I didn’t have time to eat breakfast before,” he defended himself, blushing.

 

Frank just smirked at him. “When did you wake up? Ten minutes ago?” Frank asked, teasing.

 

“No!” Gee said, flustered.

 

Frank just shook his head at him, still giggling. He sat down next to Gerard, resting his head on his shoulder. 

 

He frowned, sniffing the air. “You showered,” he stated.

 

“She made me.”

 

Frank snorted and rolled his eyes. “Of course she did.”

 

“Why are you so mean?” Gerard whined, filling his pouting mouth with another spoonful of cereal.

 

Frank just laughed again.

 

Jamia and Lindsey stood at the counter, watching their interaction.

 

“Remind me why we married them?” Lindsey asked with a sigh.

 

“Hell if I know…” Jamia answered, snickering.

 

\---

 

They drank their coffee, Gee finishing his cereal. Gerard and Frank then left the ladies in the kitchen and walked into the living room instead, sitting down in the big couch.

 

Out of nowhere Frank started to giggle. Not just quietly. He giggled hysterically. 

 

“Frankie?” Gee asked, nudging his friend in the side. “What’s so funny?”

 

His laugh was infectious and soon Gerard was giggling as well. “Stop laughing, Frankie!” he gasped between the fits of giggles. “My stomach hurts!”

 

Frank eventually calmed down enough to say, “Your face when I told you I wasn’t asleep was priceless!”

 

Gerard pushed Frank’s shoulder, causing him to fall over on the couch. “Fuck you, Frankie!” he said with a laugh. “Why did you pretend to sleep anyway? Are you so lazy you can’t even bother to walk up to your own house?”

 

“Nah, I just love it when you undress me,” Frank replied with a wink, still laying on his side on the couch.

 

Gerard choked. “Frank!” he said, his face turning red.

 

Frank just closed his eyes and put his feet in Gerard’s lap. “I’m sleeping.”

 

Gerard just shook his head, still red-faced.  _ Jesus, Frank! You can’t just say things like that! _

 

Frank smirked, knowing exactly was Gerard was thinking, and loving what he did to him.

 

Eventually, though, Jamia walked into the living room, ready to leave.

 

“I swear to god, if he’s asleep again, I will personally look forward to see him suffer,” she said, exasperated, but smiling.

 

This time Gerard knew Frank was just pretending, being able to tell now when it wasn’t pitch-black. By some reason he didn’t tell Jamia this, thinking it was Frank’s thing to say. But Frank kept silent.

 

\---

 

_ A few months later Gerard showed up with a girl in tow. Neither Ray nor Frank had seen her before, but Mikey recognized her. They hadn’t officially met yet, but he had seen her. _

 

_ “Hey, Gee! Who’s with you?” Ray asked, leaning against the bar. _

 

_ They were all good friends, and this was just them hanging out. No touring. No shows. Just friends hanging out in a bar in New Jersey. _

 

_ Gerard looked a bit nervous, Frank noticed. His shoulders a bit tense, his unconcious lip-biting.  _

 

_ “Hey, guys,” Gerard said. “This is… Uh. This is Lindsey. My girlfriend.” _

 

_ Ray gasped and slapped his shoulder. “Congratulations!” he said, beaming. “I knew there was something going on with you!” _

 

_ Gerard smiled, noticeably less nervous after Ray’s reaction. Mikey looked unmoved, like he already knew. Which didn’t surprise Frank, at all. _

 

_ Gerard introduced Lindsey to them all. “Linds, this is Ray, Frank and my brother Mikey.” _

 

_ “Hi!” she said, shaking all of their hands. _

 

_ Frank didn’t know how he reacted. He was just shocked. And hurt. He tried not to be, but he couldn’t help that he felt betrayed. Like they still had something going on, even though they blew it off a couple of months ago. Frank knew he was being stupid. But he couldn’t help it. Gee used to be  _ his _. But Gerard had clearly moved on, and maybe it was time for Frank to do the same? _

 

_ Mikey had been watching Frank. He knew his best friend better than anyone else, except maybe Gerard, but Mikey had known Frank the longest. And this Frank was hurt Frank. This Frank was confused and hurt and slightly ashamed. Mikey was good at detecting others’ feelings. And Frank didn’t always hide his very well. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ The evening went on. They talked, they all got to know Lindsey better, and it turned out that she was actually a very funny and good person. She was interesting. Just like Gee. _

 

_ “How long have you been dating?” Mikey asked after a while. “I have seen you before.” _

 

_ Lindsey blushed slightly, laughing. “Not for very long actually,” she said. “Only like… About two weeks.” _

 

_ Frank gaped. That wasn’t very long. And it was obviously serious enough to do the whole introduction-to-friends-thing. Shit. _

 

_ Mikey gave Frank a raised eyebrow and Frank immediately shut his mouth, coughing awkwardly. Mikey rolled his eyes, he was laughing inwardly at Frank, he was given a death-glare in return. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ “I’m happy for you, Gee,” Ray said when they were ready to leave for home. “She seems really cool, match made in heaven.” _

 

_ Gerard blushed. “Thank you. She is.” _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gerard had, the whole night, been stealing glances at Frank. His reactions. Gerard didn’t really know why, but he felt a bit smug when he noticed that Frank looked a bit hurt. Of course he didn’t want to hurt Frank, but he wanted to know that Frank still cared. It was weird. He knew it. But there was just something with Frank… _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Frank got home feeling…nothing. He felt empty. But not in an entirely bad way. This night, or Lindsey to be more precise, got him thinking. _

 

_ Frank had actually met this really sweet girl some weeks ago. He really liked her, she was nice and really cool. And now that he knew how Gerard had moved on, he felt like he could move on as well. Or at least try to. _

 

\---

 

Frank didn’t exactly know what made him pretend to be asleep last night, just as much as he couldn’t explain what made him want to make Gerard as flustered as possible. Neither could he explain why he didn’t tell his wife he wasn’t actually sleeping, doing nothing when he heard her walk out the door, telling Lindsey to tell Frank to call when he woke up.

 

He just didn’t know. But sometimes you don’t know everything. Sometimes things just happen because you want them to.

 

And so he continued his false sleeping until Lindsey told Gee that she was going out for a bit, picking up a few things from the grocery store. Telling him to check in on Bandit and the girls every now and then.

 

Gerard just nodded and smiled.

 

When Lindsey was gone, Gerard nudged his feet. “They’re gone now, you dork.”

 

Frank sat up, grinning. “I know.”

 

Gerard rolled his eyes, but a small smile was playing on his lips. “What now, huh?”

 

Frank shrugged, leaning against Gerard instead of laying down. “Movie?”

 

Gerard rolled his eyes again. “Bandit! Honey!” he called.

 

“What?” Bandit asked, sounding mildly irritated.

 

Gerard shook his head at her. “Frankie and I are going to watch a movie, you guys wanna join?” he asked.

 

They heard a clash of things falling to the floor and then hurried footsteps when the three of them came running.

 

Frank laughed at them, pulling his girls up into his lap. “What do you want to watch?”

 

\---

 

Lindsey came home in the middle of the movie. “Hey, I’m home!” she called.

 

“Hi, Linds!” Gerard answered. “We’re watching The Lion King.”

 

Lindsey walked into the living room to see all five of them engrossed with the movie. “Oh, Frank. You’re still here!” she said, surprised. “Did you call Jamia?”

 

“Oh, shit! I forgot!” Frank said, quickly sitting up and looked for his phone. “Where’s my goddamned phone when I need it!”

 

Lily gasped. “Daddy! Watch your mouth!” she said in a perfect imitation of her mother.

 

The rest of them giggled at him, while he blushed and murmured an apology. He finally found his phone and called Jamia.

 

“ _ Finally, _ ” Jamia said dryly when she picked up.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Frank said earnestly and excused himself from the movie. “Really!”

 

Jamia rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone line. “Yeah, whatever,” she said. “Are you staying there until the girls have to go or are you coming home?”

 

Frank looked to the couch where Lindsey had found her place at Gerard’s side. He should probably come home. “I’m coming home, don’t worry,” he said, smiling. “I’ll make it up to you!”

 

“Oh, you better!” Jamia teased. “See you soon!”

 

“Yeah, love you!”

 

Frank hung up and went back to the living room to say goodbye.

 

\---

 

_ Frank gaped.  _ What the actual fuck? _ he thought, staring down at the bit of paper in his hand. _

 

“Frank Iero,

 

You’re invited to the wedding of Lindsey Ballato and Gerard Way.”

 

_ Frank read that first sentence over and over again. Did he really read that right? Was he hallucinating? No. He couldn’t be, he was perfectly sober. Then this was probably real. Gerard was getting married. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Frank hadn’t told his friends that he had a girlfriend yet. He just didn’t want to rush it. It felt really good, serious, but just in case something happened between them, he didn’t want his friends to be too attached to her. That could mean awkwardness. Frank hated awkwardness. As long as it was awkwardness on his part. _

 

_ But he decided to bring Jamia to Gerard’s wedding, as his date. It felt right, and he wanted to introduce her, they had after all been together for two months now. _

 

_ Jamia was a very nice and funny girl. Woman. Whatever. She was  _ his _ , he was  _ hers _ , and he actually quite loved her. She was an amazing person, always knowing what to say, knowing Frank well enough to read his mood, knew when to be insistent and when to let go. She was funny, and stubborn, and always happy - which made Frank always happy - and perfect. She was perfect. And he wanted her to meet his friends. _

 

_ And that is what he was going to do. Today. At Gerard’s wedding. _

 

_ Frank took a deep breath. Gerard’s wedding. Today. _

 

_ “Frank, are you alright?” Jamia asked, coming up behind him, putting her chin on his shoulder. “Nervous?” _

 

_ “Yeah,” he breathed. _

 

_ She smiled. “I’ve told you, I’ll be fine,” she teased. _

 

_ He turned around, snaking his arms around her waist. “I know, honey,” he said, kissing her nose. _

 

_ She giggled. “Then why are you nervous? It’s not your wedding, after all.” _

 

_ Frank giggled. “I don’t know. I’m just being silly.” _

 

_ “Yes you are!” Jamia said, kissing his lips softly. “But now you need to get dressed, ‘cause we need to get going. If we’re not leaving in 20 minutes,  _ I’m  _ going to get nervous.” _

 

_ Frank laughed at that. “Alright then, boss.” _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ They were leaving in 20 minutes, arriving just on time. Gerard met them when they arrived. All dressed up and nice. _

 

_ “Frank!” he said when he saw his shitty car. “So good to see you!” _

 

_ Frank got out of his car, helping Jamia get out too, before turning around and hugging Gerard, clinging to his waist. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered in his ear. _

 

_ Gerard’s heart melted a bit at that. “Thank you,” he whispered back, before dropping Frank, who landed smoothly on his feet. _

 

_ Frank took Jamia’s hand and led her to Gerard. “Gee, this is my girlfriend Jamia. Jamia this is-” _

 

_ “The famous Gerard,” Jamia said and smiled, offering her hand to Gerard, who shook it. _

 

_ Gee was surprised. He didn’t know Frank had a girlfriend. “Nice to meet you,” he said. “How long have you two been a thing?” He looked at Frank. _

 

_ Frank blushed and looked down. “Two months.” _

 

_ Now it was Gerard’s turn to gape. “Two months?! And you haven’t told us?” _

 

_ “I know, right,” Jamia said and rolled her eyes. “I kept telling him, but he wanted me to be his secret.” _

 

_ Frank jokingly punched her arm. “Stop it!” _

 

_ She just laughed. Gerard decided that he liked her. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gerard was stunned. Frank had a girlfriend? For two months? He felt…jealous? No. That couldn’t be right. He had nothing to be jealous over. He had a girl-  _ wife _. He had an amazing  _ wife _. Why would he be jealous of someone’s girlfriend? _

 

_ No. He was happy for Frank. Happy. He was glad. Yup. _

 

\---

 

Another evening spent at Gerard and Lindsey’s house, and it was time for Frank and Jamia to go home, it was quite late, and even though the kids were at Jamia’s parents’ house, it was  _ late _ .

 

Frank stood up and stretched. “Jamia? Ready to go?” he asked.

 

She smiled tiredly and nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Really? Already?” Gee said sleepily from where he’d been leaning on Frank seconds before.

 

Lindsey laughed, rubbing her eyes. Everyone was very tired. “Gerard, you’re half asleep.”

 

“I’m not! Really!” he defended, sitting up properly.

 

Frank snorted. “Yeah? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure we all heard you snore a few minutes ago.  _ And _ you drooled all over my tee!” Frank accused jokingly.

 

“I did  _ not _ !”

 

Everyone laughed at him, and he pouted in response.

 

Frank and Jamia went to the door to put their jackets on. Lindsey and Gerard followed, thankful they didn’t have to go anywhere right now. “Are you sure you should drive now, Frankie?” Gerard asked, concerned. “You’re pretty tired.”

 

Frank shrugged him off. “We’ll be fine! Don’t worry.” He turned to Jamia. “Ready?”

 

“For bed? Absolutely,” she said. “For a twenty minute car ride? Hell no!”

 

Lindsey smirked at her and shook her head.

 

“Well, it’s been really nice to be here…” Frank said, not good with goodbyes, even though they were probably seeing each other in a few days.

 

“It’s been really nice to have you here,” Lindsey teased. She pulled Jamia into a hug, before hugging Frank too. “We’ve got to do this again soon! Maybe invite the others?”

 

Jamia agreed while hugging Gerard. “That’s an excellent idea! I’ll talk to Alicia and Christa.”

 

“Good girl!”

 

Frank turned to Gerard. “Well, bye, Gee,” he said with a lazy smile. “See you soon.”

 

Gee held his arms out and pulled Frankie in, breathing in his scent. They pulled away, but right before they let go Frank reached up and kissed Gerard. On his lips. Softly, quickly. But still.  _ A kiss _ .

 

Gerard gasped at the soft lips against his. The very  _ familiar _ soft lips. Frank froze. “Oh, shit.”

 

Lindsey and Jamia stared. Surprised.

 

Gerard was frozen, lips slightly parted, cheeks burning, heart racing. His mind was on full-speed, thoughts coming and going in milliseconds. The backing track of the show was  _ Frank just kissed me, holy shit. Frank just kissed me, holy shit. Frank just kissed me, holy shit. _

 

Frank flushed furiously. Heart beating in the wildest of melodies.  _ Holy fuck! I just kissed Gee! Holy fuck, I just kissed Gee… _

 

“I- I’m so sor-” Frank stuttered. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to-”

 

Jamia and Lindsey shook themselves out of the shock. “It’s okay, Frank,” Jamia soothed. “We’re all very tired, some things just happen.”

 

Frank couldn’t stop staring at Gee’s face. He could see the emotion behind his eyes, clear as day. He just didn’t know what it meant, didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing.  _ Did I just fuck everything up? _

 

Gerard didn’t move.

 

Instead Lindsey took care of the situation. “Well, you can talk about this tomorrow, yeah? We’re all tired and need some sleep,” she said awkwardly.

 

Frank just nodded, tearing his gaze from his former lover, backing out the door.

 

Jamia took him to the car, sat him down in the passenger seat, not looking at him. She walked around the car, buckling herself up in the driver’s seat, finally turning to face her husband.

 

“What was that?” she breathed. She wasn’t really mad, just…surprised. Not  _ that _ surprised either, to be honest. But still. 

 

With that single sentence she broke through to him. He broke down. He was  _ sobbing _ , what the  _ hell _ ? “I don’t know,” he sniffed.

 

“Honey, it’s not that big of a deal. Do you want to talk about it?” Jamia asked. “We are going to talk about this, okay?” She sighed. Frank only nodded, and Jamia pulled out of the Ways’ driveway.

 

\---

 

Gerard could only stare when Frank backed out of his house, still feeling the soft press of those perfect lips against his. He was buzzing. The world was spinning and he felt exhilarated. Light. Heavy. Chest tight. Heart clenching. This shouldn’t have happened. But he just couldn’t let the amazing feeling of pure  _ right _ in his stomach go.

 

A hand on his shoulder. His name. Repeatedly.

 

“What?” he finally asked, jumping when all his senses came back to him.

 

“Are you okay?” Lindsey asked.

 

“Yeah, of course,” he said, turning around to face his wife.  _ His wife _ .

 

“You sure?” she asked. She let go of her shoulder when he nodded, forcing a smile. She relaxed. “That wasn’t okay, what he did.”

 

Gee just shrugged. “Linds, it’s okay. He didn’t mean to.”

 

Lindsey wasn’t so sure though, but they could leave it until tomorrow. “I’m going to sleep, join me when you feel like it, but I’m exhausted.”

 

Gerard just waved with his hand in the air. He waited until she had gone to bed before sitting down at his desk, head in his hands.

 

Feelings were rummaging through his body. Feelings he thought were gone. Feelings he had deliberately buried, and forgotten. Familiar feelings. Feelings he was trying to neglect, but being too fond of to truly let go. Feelings towards Frank.

 

_ Stop. Stop! STOP! _ he thought angrily. _ This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t… This  _ is _ happening. Nonononononono. _

 

He bit his finger hard, trying to hold back the tears. Trying to hold back the memory of Frank’s surprised, hurt, face. His flat voice.

 

Trying to hold back the feeling of having made a horrible mistake.

 

The tears fell.

 

\---

 

_ Frank came off stage feeling light-headed. In a good way. He felt like he could do anything. _

 

_ Gerard got off stage feeling the same. It was an amazing feeling, a feeling he wished he felt more often. He felt exhilarated. He giggled. _

 

_ Frank turned around to face Gerard. “What’s so funny?” he asked. _

 

_ “ _ _ Nothing,” Gee answered, shaking his head, still trying to muffle his laughter. _

 

_ Frank walked closer to his friend, trapping Gee against a wall and his body. Gerard stopped laughing, looking down at Frank instead. Frank grinned and leaned closer. Gerard met him halfway and pressed their lips together. Frank smiled and licked on Gerard’s bottom lip, asking for entrance. Gee opened his lips to let Frank’s tongue inside and moaned. _

 

_ Without letting each other go they walked to the bus and laid down in Gerard’s bunk. They continued their kissing, feeling each other out. Touching. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gerard woke up beside Frank.  _ Fuck _ , was his first thought.  _ What have I done? _ He carefully untangled himself from his friend and walked out into the kitchen-area of the bus. Mikey and Ray were already there, drinking coffee. _

 

_ “Good morning,” Ray said, not looking up from his phone. _

 

_ Gerard ignored him and went straight for Mikey. “Mikes, can I talk to you?” he asked, fidgeting. _

 

_ Mikey raised an eyebrow at him and motioned for the door. _

 

_ They walked outside and Mikey offered his brother a smoke. Gerard thankfully accepted the offer and took a deep drag. _

 

_ “So,” Mikey started. “What’s up?” It wasn’t like he didn’t know why Gerard wanted to talk to him. It was hard to miss the fact that his brother and best friend had slept together, especially when you sleep in the bunk next to the two of them. But he didn’t say anything, waiting for Gerard to get himself together. _

 

_ Gerard rubbed his wrist absently. “I-. Uh. We-.  _ Fuck _ ,” he began. “I slept with Frank last night,” he blurted. _

 

_ Mikey was actually a little bit surprised, not that he let it show. Instead he let his brother continue. _

 

_ “And I… I don’t know what to do, Mikey,” his brother said helplessly. He dragged one hand through his hair, looking on the verge of panicking. _

 

_ “Hey, Gee, it’s okay,” Mikey said, taking his brother’s face in his hands, making him look at Mikey. “Listen to me, Gee. It will all be okay. Don’t panic. You’ll work this out with him.” _

 

_ Finally Gerard met his eyes. “Yeah?” he asked quietly, still not breathing quite normally. _

 

_ “I promise,” Mikey answered and pulled his brother into an awkward hug, patting his back. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Frank woke up to an empty bed. Like normally. But this wasn’t normal. His mind flooded with memories from last night, and his bed was still warm from another body, not to talk about how it smelled of Gerard. _

 

_ Frank sighed and rubbed his eyes.  _ What the fuck did we do? _ he thought to himself.  _

 

_ He wasn’t sorry it happened. Not really. He really liked Gerard, and he wouldn’t lie to himself, but he didn’t know if Gerard reciprocated his feelings. He didn’t want this to ruin their friendship. They needed to talk. _

 

_ Frank got up and walked into the kitchen-area. Ray was enjoying his coffee in peaceful silence, Mikey and Gerard nowhere to be seen. _

 

_ “Goodmorning.” _

 

_ “‘Morning, Ray,” Frank answered, looking around for a mug to pour some coffee in. When he found one he liked he sat down opposite his friend, sipping his hot drink. _

 

_ He was waiting for something. He didn’t know what. He felt weird. Like something wasn’t right. He didn’t enjoy the feeling. _

 

_ Frank erupted an irritated noise from his nose. Ray finally looked up. _

 

_ “Are you okay?” Ray asked, concerned. _

 

_ “Yes. No.” Frank sighed. “I don’t know.” He looked out of the window. _

 

_ Ray frowned. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. _

 

_ Frank shrugged. “Maybe. I just don’t know what to say… I don’t even really know what’s bothering me, Ray.” Frank sighed again and met Ray’s eyes. “It- It just happened and I’m not sure what to feel, you know?” _

 

_ Ray nodded slowly, waiting for Frank to continue. But he didn’t. Instead he got up, poured his coffee in the sink, and got out of the bus. _

 

_ Ray shook his head. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Frank walked. And walked. And walked. He didn’t know where he was going, he just needed some space.  _

 

_ He sighed. He felt like screaming, but someone would probably call the cops if he did, thinking someone was being murdered. _

 

_ He also felt like clawing his eyes out. He had this weird uncomfortable feeling inside, and he knew he needed to talk to Gerard. But he didn’t want to. Not yet. He didn’t want to ruin anything. He didn’t want to let go of the hope. _

 

Fuck, I’m so screwed, _ he thought and chuckled bitterly. _

 

_ He knew his feelings were quite clear. He liked Gerard. He could honestly say that he loved him. But he wasn’t entirely sure if the love he felt was romantic or platonic. But his liking was definitely romantic. Fuck. He was a mess. Why did this happen? Why did he always fuck everything up? _

 

_ Frank sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day, and it wasn’t even late yet, and kicked at a stone. _

 

_ He decided to turn back and face his mess of a life. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gerard was really fucking nervous. He was not at all sure of what he felt. He wasn’t ready for this. He had never had  _ feelings  _ for a guy before, anyone really. And he didn’t know what romantic feelings felt like. Did he like Frank that way? Or did he just enjoy kissing him? And have sex with him, apparently. _

 

_ He was pacing back and forth on the parking lot, still not calm. He knew he was just working himself up by thinking this much, but this was important to him. Frank was his best friend, if you didn’t count Mikey (And you didn’t, because he is his  _ brother _ ). _

 

_ He knew one thing though. He was  _ not  _ ready for a relationship with Frank. It was nobody’s fault. He just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. _

 

_ That was what made him do it. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Frank got back to the bus and opened the door. He stepped inside the kitchen and was met with a nervous-looking Gerard. _

 

_ “Hey,” he said uncertainly, eyeing his friend. _

 

_ “Hey.” Gerard looked up at Frank from where he was sitting, but quickly averted his eyes. “I think we need to talk, Frankie,” he said quietly. _

 

_ “Yeah, I think so too, Gee,” Frank answered and sat down at the table. _

 

_ Frank could see Gerard composing himself and waited for his friend to start talking. _

 

_ “I’ve been thinking a little about this… And,” he started, quickly looking up to meet Frank’s eyes. “And I think that we should just be friends.” _

 

_ Frank blinked. “Oh. Okay.” _

 

_ Gee looked scared, worried. “I’m sorry, Frankie, I just-” _

 

_ “No, it’s okay, Gee,” Frank said, forcing a smile. “We’ve been friends for a long time. We’re good as friends. Friends is good.” _

 

_ Frank knew he sounded tense and his words sounded forced, but Gee didn’t seem to notice. _

 

_ “Okay, Frankie. Thanks,” Gee said, looking both relieved and disappointed. _

 

_ Frank stood up, feeling a little bit sick. “I’m gonna go get some milk, want anything?” he asked without really thinking about what he was saying. _

 

_ Gerard gave him an odd look. “No thanks.” _

 

_ Frank waved and was out the door faster than the light, taking deep breaths. He walked over to the gas-station a few yards away, not intending to get milk. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Gerard watched as Frank slipped out the door. He was happy that they had such a successful talk, but there was still something nagging in the pit of his stomach. He ignored it, marvelling in the relief of getting this out of its way. _

 

_ He stood up, stretching, and reaching for his phone. He looked through his contacts, looking for Mikey, and clicked on the call button. _

 

_ After three signals he picked up. _

 

_ “ _ Gee _.” _

 

_ “I talked to Frank,” Gerard said. _

 

_ “ _ Good for you, _ ” Mikey said, not unkindly. You could practically hear his eye-roll. _

 

_ “Yes, it is good for me. I told him we should just be friends, and he agreed. I think…” Gerard told Mikey. _

 

_ “ _ Oh. Okay, _ ” Mikey answered, frowning. _

 

_ “But I’m gonna go now. See you later, Mikes!” _

 

_ Gerard hung up, feeling slightly better after talking to his brother. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ Mikey facepalmed. Gerard just hung up on him after telling him that he and Frank decided to ‘be just friends’. As if that’s worked out the last five years. Jeez, his brother was so oblivious sometimes. _

 

_ Mikey was going to talk to Frank. Frank was his best friend after all. _

 

_ \--- _

 

_ He found Frank inside the gas-station. He was staring at a bottle of water. _

 

_ “Frank. You okay?” he asked and stopped to stand beside him. _

 

_ Frank jumped. “Oh, Mikey. Hey. Yeah. I’m good!” _

 

_ Mikey rolled his eyes. “You sure? I just talked to Gee,” he said. _

 

_ Frank’s expression changed into something unreadable. “Cool. What did he say?” _

 

_ “That you guys decided to be just friends,” Mikey told Frank. “Are you okay with that?” _

 

_ Frank turned to look at Mikey. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked. Mikey didn’t miss the slight hesitation in his eyes, though. But he decided not to say anything. It wasn’t his place to meddle in other people’s business. And Frank didn’t seem too upset, either. _

 

_ “Good,” Mikey said instead. “Just checking.” _

 

\---

 

Frank went to bed that night, feeling horrible. He felt like a horrible traitor, to Jamia. She had done nothing wrong, and yet he kissed his past, not so secret, lover in front of her. The past lover he hadn’t quite let go of.

 

_ Why do I always fuck everything up? _

 

He couldn’t deny the amazing feeling of Gee’s lips against his own, though. Neither could he deny the butterflies in his stomach when he thought about it.

 

But the feeling of guilt was almost stronger, and very distracting. He felt like he was going to throw up.

 

It’s not like he had made a good job at burying his feelings, he just wasn’t very good at that, and he was very well  _ aware _ of what he was feeling. But it was under control. Until  _ this _ . Until he fucked everything up. He would never forget the look in Gerard’s eyes.

 

The look of “ _ Oh, fuck _ ”.

 

\---

 

Lindsey left the house when Frank arrived, leaving it to the two of them to sort this out. Both of them looked like shit, to say the least, and she had planned picking up Bandit from the sleepover now, anyway.

 

Frank could barely meet her eyes when they met, but Lindsey smiled warmly at him. She wasn’t really mad anymore. She was just shocked yesterday.

 

When she closed the door behind her Frank turned his head up to meet Gerard’s heavy gaze.

 

“Gee, I’m-” he started, but was interrupted when Gerard flung himself at Frank, catching his lips with his own.

 

Frank started, but soon he was melting in Gerard’s hands, lips moving in sync with Gees’. He flung his jacket on the floor and wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck, pulling him closer.

 

Gerard bit Frank’s bottom lip, earning a moan out of the smaller man. The backed together into the living room, Frank pushing Gee up against a wall, tasting his tongue in his mouth.

 

Eventually they pulled away for a breath, foreheads touching.

 

“Gee, I’m- I’m sorry about yesterday,” Frank panted. “I fucked up.”

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Are you?” he asked. “Sorry, I mean?”

 

Frank bit his lip, breaking their eye contact. “You’re making me doubt it,” he whispered.

 

“Good. I don’t want you to regret it,” Gerard said, catching Frank’s lips again. “I’ve missed this.”

 

Their desperate kissing continued in Gerard’s ‘office’, where he sketches his comics and writes his music.

 

Frank is sitting on the desk, legs around Gee’s hips, holding him close. Gerard began kissing down his neck, careful not to make any marks. Frank let his head fall back, moaning loudly, gasping when Gerard bit down on a certain spot.

 

“No marks,” he panted, fingers in Gerard’s hair.

 

Gerard kissed Frank’s lips again, smiling. “I know, Frankie.”

 

Frank tugged Gerard closer with his legs, accidentally rubbing their hard-ons together, making both of them moan loudly.

 

“Can I take care of that?” Gerard asked, breathing heavily.

 

Frank wanted him to. So so  _ so _ much. But they were both still married, and this was  _ wrong _ . “I’m sorry, Gee,” he said, feeling guilty again. “Wives.”

 

Gee only nodded and kissed his lips again. “It’s okay, Frankie.”

 

The mention of their wives was a complete mood-killer, though. So they calmed down instead, resting their foreheads together.

 

“What are we doing, Frankie?” Gerard asked, defeated.

 

Frank didn’t know if he should cry or laugh. He laughed. “Fuck, Gee,” he laughed. “This is  _ way  _ fucked up.”

 

Gerard chuckled darkly, kissing the tip of Frank’s nose. 

 

They went back to the living room, sitting down in the couch, Frank resting his head in the crook of Gee’s neck, and Gerard resting his head on top of Frank’s.

 

“When I said ‘I think we should be just friends’, I didn’t mean it,” Gerard started. Frank tensed, but turned his head to have a better look at his friend. “I was just scared. I’d never felt like that before. I didn’t know what it was… It felt…weird. And I was confused. You were a boy.”

 

Frank chuckled fondly. “Yeah. I still am,” he teased.

 

Gee bumped their shoulders lightly. “I just… I knew people were gay, and I didn’t have a problem with it. I just never thought…” Gerard sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. “And then I did. Feel that way. About you. And was scared as fuck, Frankie.”

 

“I know, Gee,” Frankie said, squeezing Gee’s hand. “It’s okay.”

 

Gerard shook his head. He turned around, facing Frank, raking his head between his hands. “No. It really isn’t, Frank. I hurt you,” he whispered. “I did the only thing I didn’t want to do. I hurt you.”

 

Frank wiped a tear away from Gerard’s cheek, seeing his own vision become blurry.

 

“And I’m so so sorry, Frankie. I really am. I shouldn’t have done that. I- I should’ve listened to Mikey. I should’ve-”

 

Frank shook his head, tears slowly making their way down his cheek. “No,” he said firmly. “You shouldn’t have.”

 

Gerard looked up. “What? But I-”

 

Frank shook his head more forcefully. “No, Gee. If you would’ve done anything differently we wouldn’t have Bandit. Or Cherry and Lily. You can’t honestly regret Bandit being born, now could you?”

 

Gerard shook his head. “No. But I hurt you…”

 

Frank pulled Gerard into a tight hug, sitting in his lap to not have that awkward angle. “I love you, Gee. No matter if you regret your decision or not. I love you.”

 

Gerard gasped in Frank’s ear. “I love you too,” he whispered breathlessly. “Since forever, Frankie.”

 

Frank giggled through the tears. “Me too.”

 

It didn’t take long until their tears were swapped with giggles. “We’re such dorks,” Frank giggled.

 

Gerard laughed. Truly laughed, and it felt so good for the both of them. The tension gone.

 

\---

 

They decided to watch a movie until Lindsey came home, deciding to talk to their wives separately.

 

\---

 

The first thing Lindsey did when walking out the door was to call Bandit’s friend, asking her parents if it would be alright to pick her up a bit later, which it was. Then she called Jamia.

 

_ “Hello?” _ Jamia said when she answered.

 

“Jamia! It’s Lindsey,” Lindsey clarified. “Do you have a moment?”

 

_ “Yeah, I guess,” _ she answered.  _ “What’s up?” _

 

“Can we meet at a café or something? I feel like we’re going to need some coffee.”

 

Jamia snorted through the phone.  _ “Absolutely! I’m just going to drop the twins off at my parents’ house,” _ she said, already shuffling around her kids.  _ “I’ll be there in ten. Fifteen tops!” _

 

“Thank you,” Lindsey said honestly. “See you soon!”

 

\---

 

Lindsey was sipping on her coffee when Jamia walked in, looking around for her friend. Lindsey waved her hand and Jamia walked over to the table and sat down.

 

“So,” she said, taking her thin jacket off. “What’s on your mind?” She asked even though she had a fair idea of what was going on.

 

Lindsey raised an eyebrow at her. “You know why you’re here. Order a coffee and sit down. This will be a ride.”

 

Jamia frowned, but did as she was told. She trusted her friend and her judgement. If she thought this was an occasion that needed coffee, it probably was.

 

She was right.

 

\---

 

Lindsey sighed. “Can I just talk it out, for a bit? Just let it all out, and then I’ll listen to you?” she asked, clearly tired.

 

Jamia just nodded and made a gesture for her to continue.

 

“The kiss was…it. The point of no return,” she explained. “I know how that sounds. All dramatic and shit, but let me explain. You can’t honestly tell me that you haven’t seen it, too? Honestly.” Lindsey took a deep gulp of her coffee before continuing. “Their past is not exactly a secret, and the looks they give each other… At least Gerard, since I know him better than Frank. I can see the love in his eyes when he looks at Frank, and I’ve been trying to ignore it, you know? He looks at me like that too, but not as… Intense.” She sighed again. “I’m so sorry, Jamia, but yesterday? Boy, the look on Gerard’s face was… Damn.” She looked out the window. “I can’t be with him if he gives that look to someone else, you know?”

 

Jamia listened, and nodded. Understanding what Lindsey was saying. “Yeah,” she breathed. “I know what you’re saying. There is nothing wrong with sharing, but I just… I just don’t think I can do that. And I know how selfish that sounds.”

 

Lindsey turned to look at Jamia again, hopeful and relieved look upon her face. “You do? Frank’s the same?” she asked. “And yeah. I feel the same, I just… You know.”

 

Jamia smiled sadly to herself, nodding at her friend, understanding. “Yeah, he is,” she said. “The way he comes back after the boys have been out, not kissing me back, only pecking my cheek. Being… nervous or something. A bit distant and… it’s like he’s ashamed.”

 

Lindsey looks up at that. “He does that too?” she asks. “I knew Gee wasn’t over Frank, not really. But Frank… Frank and you seemed so… perfect, you know?”

 

Jamia laughed. “You two as well! Are you kidding me? You were like, everybody’s role model-couple!”

 

Lindsey stared. Then she burst out laughing. “No way? That’s hilarious!”

 

The situation was still weird, but not as tense anymore.

 

“So, what are we going to do?” Jamia asked after a while. “I can’t live with him if he loves another, either… I just… I wouldn’t be able to deal with that.” Jamia sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Frank, and I know he loves me too. Just not as much as he loves Gerard. And we already talked about sharing…”

 

Lindsey nodded, understanding. “We should talk to them. I think that’s the best solution. Talk, divorce, them moving in together…”

 

Jamia smiled. “Yeah. They’re good for each other. They’ll be good.”

 

\---

 

Lindsey unlocked the door, feeling… At peace. She was heartbroken, of course, going to lose the love of her life… But she was happy that Jamia and her had come to this solution. It was the best way, for everyone.

 

She closed the door behind her, taking her jacket off. “Gerard? You still home?”

 

Gerard stirred on the couch. “Linds?” he sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Is that you?”

 

Lindsey smiled fondly at her husband. “It’s me,” she said softly. “Frank still here?”

 

Gerard stood up from the couch, looking around. “Yeah… Um, he was when I fell asleep?” He looked around again, confused.

 

“I’m here! In the kitchen!” Frank called. “I was just making coffee.”

 

Gerard and Lindsey looked at each other and giggled. “You making enough for us as well?”

 

“You can make your own damned coffee,” Frank muttered playfully. 

 

“Thanks, Frank,” Lindsey said in a sing-song voice and took Bandit’s over-night bag to her room.

 

Gerard smiled as his daughter came up to hug him, telling him about her sleepover with her friend.

 

Frank came out of the kitchen balancing three cups of coffee. “I’ll just drink this up and be on my way!”

 

\---

 

Frank closed the door behind him and Gerard turned to Lindsey. He had felt her looking at him.

 

“You both good?” she asked, looking concerned.

 

Gerard smiled, clearly relieved. “Yeah, we’re good,“ he answered. “Are we good?”

 

Lindsey smiled and nodded. “Yeah, but I want to… talk with you. About that.”

 

Gerard visibly tensed, but nodded and followed her into the kitchen. He looked unsure and nervous, so different from usual. They sat down at the table, opposite each other, Gerard looking down, Lindsey looking at him.

 

“I feel like I’m being scolded for something I don’t know I did…” he said, his lips twitching - trying for a smile, but not succeeding.

 

Lindsey sighed. “You’re not being scolded, Gee. You have nothing to worry about. Really,” she tried. Gerard didn’t look convinced, but at least looked her in the eyes.

 

Lindsey took a deep breath, diving right into it. “I want a divorce,” she said. She raised a finger, smiling gently, when Gerard’s breath hitched and his eyes filled with tears. “I’ll explain,” she continued softly. “I love you, Gerard. I do. And I  _ know _ you love me too. Trust me, I  _ know _ .”

 

Gerard wiped at his eye with his sleeve, not knowing what to expect next, how to react.

 

“But I also know that you love Frank,” Lindsey continued softly, seeing Gerard tense and look confused. “Everyone knows it, Gee. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, okay?”

 

She pulled her hand through her hair, thinking about how to continue.

 

“I just…“ Her voice broke. “I can’t be with you when you look at him the way you’re supposed to look at me! You look at him like he created the universe, and I… It’s hard to know that you think that of someone  _ else _ .”

 

Gerard was also crying now, silent tears running down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I didn’t even… I didn’t even realize. Not at first, I just… I thought I was over him. And I met you, and… I thought it was best to end things with him, I just… I was sure that’s what I wanted…”

 

Lindsey walked over to his side of the table, putting her arms around him, holding him close. “It’s okay, Gerard. Everyone makes mistakes.”

 

“It wasn’t a mistake,” he said softly. “I can’t regret the years with you… Ban- Bandit.”

 

Lindsey smiled. She knew she was loved, that they would still be friends, not being able to let go of their friendship. “I know, honey. Me neither.”

 

They pulled themselves together, laughing slightly at themselves.

 

“So what happens now?” Gee asked, taking a deep breath. “What happens with me and you? And Frank? And Bandit?”

 

Lindsey smiled again. She smiled surprisingly much for talking about something this sad. “I’m thinking about keeping the house. It doesn’t feel right making Bandit move…” she said thoughtfully. “And I couldn’t stand you and  _ Frank _ living here. Him sleeping in  _ my _ bed…!”

 

They both laughed at that, Gerard wiping tears from his eyes.

 

“Yeah, I agree. You keep the house. I’ll find somewhere else. An apartment where Bandit can have her own room.”

 

They smiled at each other, feeling like this was a good choice. Both being on the same page.

 

\---

 

When Frank came home Jamia was waiting for him in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

 

“Frank!” she said when he walked inside. “I need to talk to you.”

 

Frank rubbed the back of his neck nervously, sitting down opposite her. “Yeah?” he asked, trying to sound casual, and failing miserably.

 

Jamia shot him a sympathetic look. “So, Gerard, huh?” she starts. They were friends before lovers and would still remain friends after this, so she felt confident in talking about this like a  _ friend _ and not his wife.

 

Frank tried an innocent look. “Gee? What about him?” It came out a tad bit more nervous than he intended.

 

Jamia sighed and rolled her eyes. “I know you still love him, Frank. You never really stopped,” she explained softly, Frank’s eyes turning to look at his hands. “I think you should go for it. Really.”

 

Frank looked up, confused. “Jamia. You can’t just tell me to ‘go for it’. You’re my  _ wife _ , remember? And… And…”

 

“Hey, easy, yeah? I’ll explain. Take a deep breath,” she said and smiled. “I want a divorce. Hiding and suppressing your feelings isn’t healthy, and you and Gee… You’re made for each other.”

 

Frank smiled a bit at that. “But I love you, Jamia,” he said earnestly. “And what about the girls? And what about you? We- We’ll still be friends, right?” he asked, truly worried.

 

“Of course!” Jamia exclaimed and jumped up from her chair to hug him. “Of course we will! Nothing will ever separate us! You know that!”

 

Frank laughed, hugging her back, trying to will back the tears forming in his eyes. He didn’t succeed. “I love you so much, Jamia. I couldn’t stand losing you.”

 

“I know, and I you, honey,” she said softly, kissing his hair. “You won’t lose me that easily. And we’ve always been friends first anyway, maybe we just weren’t meant to be? We sailed, and sank, that happens. Luckily no one drowned!”

 

Frank shook his head at her metaphor. “You think Gee and I will work out?”

 

Jamia put her hands on her hips. “Are you serious? I  _ know _ you will, you idiot!” she said and laughed, rolling her eyes. 

 

\---

 

Frank smiled excitedly and kissed the tip of Gerard’s nose. “Today our daughters move in!”

 

Gerard scrunched his nose up and giggled, looking at the other man. He was grinning, his arms slung around Gerard’s neck, face at level with Gerard’s for once, as he was sitting on the kitchen counter.

 

“Aren’t you happy?” Frank asked playfully, knowing that Gerard was beyond happy.

 

Gerard smiled and kissed Frank’s lips. “Of course I am! This is all I’ve ever wanted,” he said with a smile.

 

“I know. I can’t believe it’s actually happening!” Frank grinned wide and jumped down from the counter. He hugged Gerard close, burying his face in his neck. “I hope they’ll like it. What if they hate it, Gee? What if they don’t ever want to live with us?” Frank asked, squeezing Gerard’s waist.

 

Gerard frowned. “Don’t say that. That’s actually ridiculous, Frankie,” Gerard said matter of factly. “They have chosen all things to their rooms, and even helped us deciding to buy this apartment! They  _ love _ it here. You know how hard it is for them to leave in the evenings.”

 

Frank smiled, despite his worries. “Yeah, you’re right…” He looked up from his hiding place and looked shyly at Gerard.

 

Gerard giggled at him, kissing his nose. “Stop being so cute.”

 

Frank laughed at that, finally letting go of Gerard to make some coffee. “Pfft. You’re one to talk!”

 

\---

 

Frank and Gerard had agreed that Frank should get the girls from school so that Gerard could try to make some dinner. Which usually meant take-out, since Frank was actually the better cook. But he was also the better driver, so take-out would do.

 

Frank was nervous. He and Gerard had lived together for almost two months, and Frank was ready to propose. He had everything planned out to do it today, since it was already a big day, why not make it even bigger?

 

He had talked to the girls about it, and Jamia and Lindsey, making sure they thought it was a good idea (which they did, of course), and they all agreed that today would be as perfect a day as any other. So they were all in on it, all of them equally excited, all of them positive that Gerard would say yes (except maybe Frank, who was of course having second thoughts. Was it too early in their relationship? Were they really ready?).

 

So when Frank picked the girls up they were buzzing with excitement.

 

“You guys ready?” Frank asked as he took off on the road.

 

“Yup!” Cherry answered, Lily nodding along.

 

Bandit, on the other hand, answered with a question of her own. “Are  _ you _ ready?”

 

Frank chuckled. “Well… I hope so!” he said, trying to sound cheery, but his nerves were showing.

 

“It’s gonna be fine, daddy. If he doesn’t say yes you’ve got us,” said Lily.

 

“Right.” Frank took a deep breath, grounding himself, before speaking again. “Have you got all of your things? Do we need to get something from your moms?”

 

They all shook their heads. Frank smiled at them and steered to their apartment.

 

\---

 

Gerard heard them coming before they even reached their floor. He smiled at the sound, hearing them laughing and joking, hearing Frank trying to keep them at least a little bit quiet while giggling himself. His family.

 

\---

 

Frank unlocked the door, letting the girls through. “We’re home!”

 

Gerard came out of the kitchen smiling wide. The girls all ran up to him, Bandit at the lead, and hugged him. He smiled at Frank as he hugged them back. “You ready to move in?” he asked them. When they all said their ‘yes’, Gerard lead them to their rooms.

 

Frank walked behind with his camera, taking pictures as their kids’ faces lit up with joy when they saw their new rooms. They put their bags down on their beds and looked around. 

 

“Do you like it?” Frank asked, only half-playful. 

 

“Yes!” Lily said happily, laying down on her bed.

 

“Me too!” Cherry said, copying her sister’s action of plopping down on her bed.

 

Bandit, who got her own room while Cherry and Lily shared one, stuck her head out of her room, grinning like a madman. “It’s really really really really nice!”

 

\---

 

The dinner had been eaten, the sky turned dark, and the ring in Frank’s pocket was burning his skin through his jeans.

 

The girls were all looking at Frank with raised eyebrows. Frank knew they were silently asking ‘what are you waiting for?’ But he didn’t know, he was asking that question himself. After five minutes of tense silence, Gerard looking confused, Lily spoke up.

 

“Gee, daddy has something to say to you.”

 

All eyes turned to Frank, who looked like he was going to puke.

 

“What is it, Frankie?” Gerard asked, looking worried. “Is there something wrong? Are you ill?”

 

Frank hated the worried and unsure expression on his boyfriend’s face, hated the hesitation in his voice. “Um… No. Ev- Everything’s fine,” Frank said, trying to smile reassuringly, but failing. Instead grimacing weirdly. “I just… Um…”

 

He saw Cherry rolling his eyes at him, and he couldn’t help but give her a small smile.

 

“Dad!” Lily whisper-shouted at him.

 

Gerard just looked really confused, and a little bit upset at clearly being the only one not knowing what was going on.

 

Frank took a deep breath and decided to just go for it.

 

\---

 

Gerard was very confused. Everyone looked at Frank with weird expressions and Gerard didn’t know what was going on. At last, though, he saw Frank take a deep breath.

 

“Gerard, Gee. Um, okay…” he started, seemingly preparing himself. “You know you mean almost everything to me? Yeah, you do. And I am so so happy that I got you, even if it took too damn long. You know, I’ve always loved you, even when I didn’t know what that feeling was. Both of us too stupid to recognize it.” Frank chuckled before continuing. “And now we’ve lived together for two months. Not very long, but long enough to know that I don’t ever want to live with anyone else.”

 

Gerard was stunned. He stopped hearing as Frank rambled on, too caught up in shock and his own racing thoughts. What was happening? Was this what he thought it was? Was Frank actually-

 

“... Gerard Way, will you marry me?” Frank asked, looking nervous, biting his lip.

 

The ring Frank held up was simple. A simple gold band with what looked to be a small engraving in it. Frank was on  _ one knee _ in front of him. Asking him to  _ marry _ him. And he hadn’t even  _ answered _ yet. Shit! He hadn’t answered!

 

Gerard was gaping for a few moments before he came to his senses. He squealed, amazed and feeling happier than ever before as he launched himself at a surprised Frank.

 

Gerard giggled and cried as he said, “Yes, yes, yes, Frankie!” over and over again, peppering kisses all over Frank’s face.

 

“Yeah?” Frank breathed when Gerard sat up, straddling his hips, smiling.

 

“Yes.”

 

The girls were all giggling and applauding when Frank put the ring on Gerard’s finger, years overdue, and kissing him. “I love you, Gee.”

 

“I love you too, Frank.”

**Author's Note:**

> Was it too bad?? It wasn't awful, was it?? I'm sorry!! But you made it this far!!
> 
> Thanks for reading frens!!!


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